December 8: 6:00 PM:
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our cocktails
and sat for hours by the window watching
the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
It looked like a Grandma Moses
Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9:
We
woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of
the
landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in
the
Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for
the
first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway
and
the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the
sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a
perfect life.
December 12:
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry we'll definitely have a
white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have
so
much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I
don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our
neighbor.
December 14:
Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature
dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my
breath
away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
the
life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.
I
didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll
certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15:
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought
snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer.
The
wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's
silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16:
Ice storm this
morning.
Fell on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The
wife
laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17:
Still way
below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for
5
hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but
stare at
the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood
stove,
but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe
I'm
freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20:
Electricity's back
on,
but had another 14" of the stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all
day.
Snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they
said
they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only
hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.
Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I
have
to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22:
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches
of
the white thing fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till
August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and
by
the time I got dressed, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who
has
a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he''s too
busy. I
think he is lying.
December 23:
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up
to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What
is
she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she
did
but I think she's also lying.
December 24:
Snow packed so hard by
snowplow, l
broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch
the
guy who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow for sure. I
know
he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then
he
comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over
where
I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with
her
and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the snowplow.
December 25:
Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the snow tonight. Snowed in. The idea
of
shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver
came
by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The
wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to
watch"It's a
Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.
December 26:
Still
snowed in. Why did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really
getting on my nerves.
December 27:
Temperature dropped to -30 and the
pipes
froze.
December 28:
Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. This is
driving
me crazy!!!
December 29:
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the
roof
or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb
does he
think I am?
December 30:
Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me
for
a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her
mother.
9" predicted.
December 31:
Set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
January 8:
I feel so good. I just love those little white
pills
they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed...
